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Dave Neita's Article on Parenting
(September 05, 2011)An Amazing Ancient Egyptian Artefact originally housed in the Temple of Karnak in Luxor can now be found in The British Museum in London. David Neita reveals what we can learn from it.
The Art Of Parenting
~ Collective Community Caring
Dave Neita
A visit to the British Museum is not complete without a proper viewing of the African Statue of Senenmut and Neferura. The statue, although in a strange land, survives and conveys to us a vital song on the precious principles of parenting. Here I present my own thoughts and learning on the subject of parenting through my interaction with this amazing piece of African art.
Parenting is one of the most rewarding life experiences but it also comes with some of the greatest challenges. Lots of lectures have been given and many manuals written on good parenting over the centuries but the challenge of parenting has always been a feature of all societies; ours not excluded.
Parenting is a responsibility for society as a whole and not just the duty of biological parents, and this is probably the strongest message communicated by the statue of Senenmut and Neferura.
As you approach Senenmut directly from the rear you are unaware that she is holding a child in her arms (see photo on left); the child is completely hidden from view, protected and covered. It is a fitting image to the phrase “I’ve got your back!” Children need to know that the people responsible for their care have got their backs. They need to know that they are supported and protected. All elements of society must contribute to this protection.
As you walk around the seated statue to view it from the front you come face to face with the child Neferura (see photo on right); she is nestled in the lap of the Senenmut and they are both wrapped by the same cloak. The talented African artist carved the woman and child out of same block of granite; they are two identities but carved in one entity. Any loss for one is loss for both and any gain for one is a gain for both. The child is in front of the adult and is held and watched over and guided. The same material blanket warms them both and Neferura is additionally warmed and made secure by the human embrace of Senenmut. Children need warmth and nurturing and every parent must provide this but parents also need to be supported by the community in looking out for the welfare of children.
As you explore the statue in detail you discover that Senenmut is not the biological mother of Princess Neferura. You learn that Neferura is the daughter of Hatshepsut, Queen and Pharaoh at once and one of the most powerful women the world has ever seen. Queen Hatshepsut was wise enough to recognise that with all her great skills and resources she still needed support in raising her only child, Princess Neferura. Parents do not have a complete and comprehensive set of skills and resources to do everything necessary to raise their children. The Queen-Pharaoh therefore entrusted her close friend and adviser Senenmut to support her in her child’s upbringing. All children should be treated like princes and princesses and parents need to actively seek out trusted stewards around them to assist in the upbringing of their children.
Schools are extremely important for the provision of education for children but schools must also see to the cultivation of the royalty and beauty that resides in all youngsters. Schools must guarantee the teaching of relevant information but they must also engage in the business of the kind of inspiration that brings about holistic development of its students.
The home must occupy its role as primary provider of values, motivation and support for youngsters but parents and carers must also collaborate with appropriate individuals and organisations in the community that can assist in the proper raising of their children.
The African Proverb “it takes a whole village to raise a child” is of utmost relevance here and we must all address our hearts and minds to the development of the youngsters in our society. They are princes and princesses, and ‘leaders in waiting’, and they need support and guidance to discover their own kingdoms in which they must lead. The great African artisans of old carved valuable and lasting messages in stone. Let us observe the significance, read and heed.
Finally, another proverb instructs us to “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). We should all seek to acquire the wisdom, confidence and resolve to carry out this great challenge laid down by a man reputed to be the wisest of us all, King Solomon. This is the same Family Court Judge who was not concerned about biological legitimacy in deciding which of the two women in his ‘Maternity Courtroom’ to appoint to the care of the one child they were in dispute about. He was more concerned about the principle of ‘Love Authenticity’; he needed to verify which of the two lady litigants would provide warmth, care and love for the child so he did not order a maternity test or even go through the trouble of determining who the child most resembled. He simply wanted to know who would provide love for the child so he swiftly sent for the sword (to divide love from fear) and the responses of the women told him all he needed to know. His ruling placed the child in the care of the woman who demonstrated a sacrifice that evidenced her love for the child and a care for the child’s wellbeing.
This case file can be found in 1 Kings 3:16-28 and interestingly there is no record of the name of the woman who was awarded this parental role but we can all put our names forward irregardless of parental status and ask what sacrifice are we making for some child or children somewhere within our communal sphere that contributes to the development of that child or children “on the way they should go…”